Winning with people
This is quite an inspirational book by John C. Maxwell. Here are the finer points of the book:
Again and again, we see both individuals and organizations perform only to a small degree of their potential success, or fail entirely, simply because of their neglect
of the human element in business and life.
The bottom line is this: people can usually trace their successes and failures to the relationships in their lives.
The author has divided the People Principles according to five critical questions about how to win with people:
1. Readiness: Are we prepared for relationships?
2. Connection: Are we willing to focus on others?
3. Trust: Can we build mutual trust?
4. Investment: Are we willing to invest in others?
5. Synergy: Can we create a win-win relationship?
Readiness
The most useful person in the world today is the one who knows how to get along with others. Human relations is the most important science of living.
The essential requirements in relationship building are:
1. Lens Principle: Who we are determines how we see others.
2. Mirror Principle: The first person we must examine is ourselves.
3. Pain Principle: Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them.
4. Hammer Principle: Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone's head
5. Elevator Principle: We can take people up or down in our relationships.
Lens Principle
The only way to change how you view life is to change who you are on the inside.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt.
You teach people how to treat you.
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. - Lao Tzu
It's easy to see that natural ability affects what we do. But our thinking and our attitudes are as much parts of us as our talents and abilities.
They also determine what we do. We cannot separate them, and if we expect different from our make-up, we're in for disappointment.
Five things that determine who we are
1. Genetics: We have no control over this.
2. Self-Image: Those with a positive self-image will expect the best for themselves.
3. Experience: We can't undo our past experiences but we can reprogram ourselves using new ones.
4. Faith: Keep the faith [at least in yourself].
5. Friends: Choosing your friends is the most important thing.
Mirror Principle
Coping with difficult people is always a problem, especially if the difficult person happens to be you.
Blind Spot: Human nature seems to endow people with the ability to size up everybody in the world but themselves.
The first person to be changed is yourself.
Pain Principle
Hurting people hurt others and are easily hurt by them.
Whenever a person's response is larger than the issue at hand, the response is almost always about something else.
Joke: When we quarrel the wife becomes historical.
Hammer Principle
Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone's head. Realize that having the right attitude is more important than having the right answers.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Elevator Principle
There are four kinds of people in life: Adders, Subtractors, Dividers and Multipliers (real influencers).
In necessary things unity; in doubtful things liberty; in all things, charity.
Again and again, we see both individuals and organizations perform only to a small degree of their potential success, or fail entirely, simply because of their neglect
of the human element in business and life.
The bottom line is this: people can usually trace their successes and failures to the relationships in their lives.
The author has divided the People Principles according to five critical questions about how to win with people:
1. Readiness: Are we prepared for relationships?
2. Connection: Are we willing to focus on others?
3. Trust: Can we build mutual trust?
4. Investment: Are we willing to invest in others?
5. Synergy: Can we create a win-win relationship?
Readiness
The most useful person in the world today is the one who knows how to get along with others. Human relations is the most important science of living.
The essential requirements in relationship building are:
1. Lens Principle: Who we are determines how we see others.
2. Mirror Principle: The first person we must examine is ourselves.
3. Pain Principle: Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them.
4. Hammer Principle: Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone's head
5. Elevator Principle: We can take people up or down in our relationships.
Lens Principle
The only way to change how you view life is to change who you are on the inside.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt.
You teach people how to treat you.
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. - Lao Tzu
It's easy to see that natural ability affects what we do. But our thinking and our attitudes are as much parts of us as our talents and abilities.
They also determine what we do. We cannot separate them, and if we expect different from our make-up, we're in for disappointment.
Five things that determine who we are
1. Genetics: We have no control over this.
2. Self-Image: Those with a positive self-image will expect the best for themselves.
3. Experience: We can't undo our past experiences but we can reprogram ourselves using new ones.
4. Faith: Keep the faith [at least in yourself].
5. Friends: Choosing your friends is the most important thing.
Mirror Principle
Coping with difficult people is always a problem, especially if the difficult person happens to be you.
Blind Spot: Human nature seems to endow people with the ability to size up everybody in the world but themselves.
The first person to be changed is yourself.
Pain Principle
Hurting people hurt others and are easily hurt by them.
Whenever a person's response is larger than the issue at hand, the response is almost always about something else.
Joke: When we quarrel the wife becomes historical.
Hammer Principle
Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone's head. Realize that having the right attitude is more important than having the right answers.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Elevator Principle
There are four kinds of people in life: Adders, Subtractors, Dividers and Multipliers (real influencers).
In necessary things unity; in doubtful things liberty; in all things, charity.
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